Never had thought of writing this down but ‘yes’– I have a special one in my life. I have someone to care for and someone who I can depend on. You may have guessed by now that my special one is a girl and yes, that is true. She is my ‘girl friend’ with a huge space between the composite word that I just mentioned.

The word girlfriend really is the star of any conversation. Just as I have collected a great chunk of interest out of you folks by just mentioning this utterly suspicious word “girl friend”. However, I am sorry to inform my readers that she is neither my lover, nor my soul mate nor other rubbish assumptions that might have accidentally struck your minds. I feel quite amused to dishearten you, but hey this is the bitter truth that I have come to realize.

It feels great when you have someone other than your family member who cares about you and your stupid attitude. Yes, it gives a sense of energy to your life when you’ve made such a friend.
[Exclaim; only happens with opposite sex 😛 ].

The plot line of this story started long before I understood the meaning of love. It was the end of my school life and a new beginning–college life. That was the year I shifted to my new house. I was new to that place; new to the calming wind and the soothing sun. Despite the alienation, I found some friends that would accompany me on my daily journey to college. I was somehow welcomed to my new society. College was a 45 min walk away and as any other student, I hate waking up early but it felt great to be going with friends. Days passed on, I found my place in our morning gang.

However, the things didn’t continue the same way. The repeated missed calls and calling out for a friend who was late was fun for some weeks, but it soon became annoying. Ultimately i had a quarrel with one of my friends; the situation worsened as days passed by and the reason of our fight unknowingly became because of a girl who was also the member of our morning gang. I hadn’t even noticed her until I’d found her weeping besides me. Before that time I only knew her name, spelling of her name and nothing more. That day turned out to be something new. I wasn’t comfortable at that instant, in-fact, I was anxious to know the reason why she cried.

Later when I actually found out the reason for her break down, the first thing that came to my mind was ‘Baula’. The reason was that she blamed herself for the quarrel once she was able to understand it. From that day on, I became interested in her behaviors, in her views of things, her perspective of life. Couple of years passed and our bond had become stronger. But things started getting wrong; we both started treating each other as part of our life. I was astonished when I found out that my life was circling around her and hers around me. We needed no one when we were together. It felt like we had forgotten the world for one another. This sounds great only in movies, ‘forgetting world for someone’.

This modern technology where you are connected by different social networks and other medias- falling in love has become much easier. However, my point is not that I have fallen in love with my special one but even if it sounds stupid, I did fall in love with the moments we spent together. Now that our paths have separated I miss her. I miss giving her missed calls and waiting for her outside my house to walk our way to college–rubbing my eyes in the dusk light to see her walk slowly towards me and her gentle smile saying ‘am I late again’. I always felt crazier with her. She made me smile. She made me laugh and our conversations never get old even if it started with ‘baula k garera’ and ended with ‘bye’.

Illustration by Nipun Bajracharya